“I am bigger than this moment. JUST GET THEM TO SCHOOL. I will not lose it.”
I wish that I could say that this mantra helped me all the time. Unfortunately sometimes I just plain old lose it. It is not dignified or pretty. Then it is a cold, brisk walk to school with lots of snuffling noses. Theirs and mine!
The worst part about losing your temper as a parent is that children shrug off these kinds of encounters as soon as they enter their next place. Teachers claim that the boys show no sign of post-traumatic-stress-disorder at all. Walking through the doors at school is like a rebirth for my kids and the day starts anew. Not the same for me! I tend to seethe for the next hour or so, running the argument backwards and forwards in my mind.
Running It Out
Today I had planned to run an easy 4-5 mile loop at a slower pace. It is a beautiful sunny cold February morning. I only had to run and then get back home to do some ‘for pay’ work before picking up my 4 yr old from PreK. All in all, a slower morning than most for me.
As I rounded out the last few blocks of my run, I had worked through most of the parent-child conflict issues in my head and was feeling much lighter overall. That’s when I looked at my watch and noticed that I had just run the fastest 4.4 miles…probably since high school! Although, honestly I don’t think I was very ‘fast’ in high school so it may have been a lifetime PR. So, it turns out that channeling the volcanic parenting rage into my legs and lungs may just be the better for me than losing my temper!
I wonder if I can create a situation where my kids act really terrible just before I start my Half-Ironman in June? Something tells me that’ll be the day that they are angels.